Lose weight quickly and easily by...

 1.  Sweating yourself skinny! Don't have a vinyl suit to wear?  No problem -- put on a garbage bag!  Sure to lose your fashion sense, as well!

http://inventorspot.com/wacky_ways_to_lose_weight 

2.  Showering with Weight-Loss Soap!  Don't know where to find it?  No worries, go to your local beach, collect seaweed, and rub down with that!

http://inventorspot.com/wacky_ways_to_lose_weight 

3.  Getting Caffeine through osmosis!  Everyone knows Caffeine speeds up your metabolism, so if you can't consume enough of it, wear SlimFit20 Caffeine Tights.  I'm sure they're sexy, too.  Can't find these?  Head to your local starbucks for 10 double-espresso shots--sure to do the same!

http://inventorspot.com/wacky_ways_to_lose_weight 

4.  Pretending you're skinny by tanning!  Can't find the "Ray of Hope" tanning spray?  No fear--go to any local pharmacy and get yourself a sunless tanner, a tanning salon, or do it the old-fashioned way and go to the beach!  Everyone knows tan people look more toned!

http://inventorspot.com/wacky_ways_to_lose_weight 

5.  Sniffing things that make you lose your appetite!  No, not cocaine (although I'm sure that is effective--ask Nicole Richie), but SLIMist!  Oohhh, sniff a mist and lose your appetite.  Go sniff a litter box or New Jersey or something.

http://inventorspot.com/wacky_ways_to_lose_weight 

6.  Licking Your Lips to Satiation!  Eating too much?  Hungry when you shouldn't be?  Stop and gloss your lips with Promise Appetite Supressant chapstick.   Can't find this sexy new gloss anywhere?  How about you tie a red string to your finger to remind you not to eat too much?  Or better yet, don't serve yourself so much food!  I'm sure these will work just the same.   

http://inventorspot.com/wacky_ways_to_lose_weight

7.  Smelling your lips to satiation!  Don't want to lick all those chemicals?  Try the Joey LipFit Lip Balm!   In its defense, studies show that peppermint has some sort of appetite-suppresant quality which is what the Joey LipFit Lip Balm smells like. But let's be real -- no peppermint smelling LipBalm is going to keep you from that cupcake unless you keep yourself from it!

http://www.afrobella.com/2007/07/18/the-wild-wacky-world-of-weight-loss/  

8.  Blasting fat away with Ultrasound!  Less invasive than lipo, less work than working out.  Can't wait until this is FDA-approved and comes to the United States?  I'm sure those vibration machines are just as effective! 

http://www.reallybored.net/videos/Quick-and-Crazy-Way-to-Lose-Fat 

9.  Realizing that your mind still thinks you're a caveman!  Follow the Shangi-La diet by setting aside a 2-hr window every day where you consume one cup of water with either a tablespoon of sugar or olive oil--sure to make your appetite smaller in no time!  Unless, of course, it just doesn't work for you (maybe your brain is just too advanced).  I know, how about you just stop eating until you're so stuffed your pants don't fit anymore?  I'm sure it'll have the same effect.

http://headrush.typepad.com/creating_passionate_users/2006/05/the_strangest_e.html 

10.  Wearing sunglasses that suppress your appetite!  Studies show that wearing these sunglasses will tint your food blue causing you to not want to eat it.  Between these glamorous shades and your garbage bag suit, you're sure to get TONS of stares your way!  Can't find these shades?  Buy some blue food coloring and drip it all over!

http://www.chow.com/blog/tag/appetite-suppressant 

 11.  Dieting and exercising!  Oh wait, no.. a healthy diet and working out actually DOES work.  Well.. look at that!